Tuesday, July 20, 2010

And That Is Just The Morning Folks!

Before you read any further, I must post a warning. You will laugh to be sure, it will also be at my expense, but the subject might not be completely to your liking. You may now proceed to read, if you are so bold. :o)

Every woman has an unfriendly visitor that they get every month. I am not the most regular of women though, so I tend to not keep track. Either way, I had the misfortune to wake up with afore mentioned visitor arriving. Since I am the Drama Queen after all, you are already suspecting that I was not prepared. Where would the adventure be in that? Anyway, I cannot leave my house. Since I am not normal, neither are my visits. I called my poor unsuspecting teenager (male btw) into my room for a conversation, I am sure he regrets. I told him that he was going to have to walk to the gas station and get me some necessities. That went over like syrup on hot pancakes. NOT! He said, "Can I at least drive the car?"

"No way! Are you serious?" I ask.

"Yes. I don't want to walk." he calmly states.

This boy has not had a driving lesson at all. NEVER! His argument was that he has drove plenty of cars on X-Box and that I told him what the pedals do. Are you kidding me?!?!?! That is what is going through my brain. I try to maintain my temper and not yell at him for something that sounds so asinine that I want to scream.

"No, you don't have a learner's permit or any lessons and it won't kill you to walk. Now just go. I CANNOT go to work without them. Please!" I practically beg.

He finally leaves the house and I proceed to eat a bowl of cereal, then take a shower. After showering, I realize he is still not back. He should have been back already, naturally he isn't. I begin to stress. Of course that is when he arrives. He walks into my bedroom and hands me a dollar bill and some change. I must let you all know I gave him a ten.

"Where are they?" I ask. Since he only handed me money and nothing else.

"They didn't have them."

Shock registers on my face, "Then what did you spend my money on?" I inquire while trying not to get up to physically choke him.


Yep, that's my son.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Psychic Readings and Sex Toys

In order to have a little fun, I decided to host one of those fun little sex toy parties. Bunch of girls talking about sex and possibly learning and buying something new. What could possibly go wrong? Hell as a bonus I asked for a $5 pitch in and hired a psychic to do some readings for us as well. Started out with 2o confirmed guests and ended up with a grand total of 6, if you included the psychic, who arrived on time and the toy part of the party wasn't done yet. I will give her credit, she jumped right on in and had fun with our small group.

Thought the small turn out the evening ended up being quite interesting. The toy party was fun and many found humor in talking about the toys. The really interesting part was the psychic. She was good. I mean really good. I know many of you that don't believe in the "gift" so to speak. I would be lying if I said I wasn't skeptical myself. Matter of fact, still am. She was accurate on things from a dream my friend had never told to anyone before, to a relationship break up. Me on the other hand, I went last. Since it was my party I wanted to give my guests the fun and opportunity to enjoy themselves. I ended up hearing a bunch of stuff that I didn't wish to hear. Such is life though. I hear things I don't want to hear every day.

I really just hope that the stuff I hope to be true is, and the stuff that I don't believe to be true is false. Otherwise, I will have even more drama then I have now.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Chaos Factor

One could probably say that I am the Real Life Drama Queen by my choice, though I have said many a time that I am she not by choice. But after this week I must withdraw my objections. How else am I to learn from my mistakes, if I don't stand up and face them head on.

I have been trying and trying to get a business up off the ground. Don't listen to anyone that says there are government grants for start up business'. They are full of crap. There are government grants for business' that are already established. That is true. Thousands of them at that. But for someone like me, that has a great idea and knows it could make money. I am pretty much stuck. I have horrible credit as well, due to stupidity and a divorce. It happens. So between getting my business off the ground, I work, I write, I am a mom, I try to have fun, I barely sleep and I dig myself in to holes. Normal for me. But then, just when I think I am on a smooth and rockless path I find a pebble, but it turns into a boulder.

I am throwing a party. I am trying to get my portfolio together so I have something to show to potential clients. I have wrapped up every bit of spare money into this venture. Therefore my car breaking down again, was not wanted nor affordable. I fixed it, but I can hear other things about to go out on it. My poor baby. Funny thing is, I had to move some stuff. So I borrowed a friends truck. I ended up running out of time, so we decided to just keep our vehicles switched for a few days. She forgot my windows are broke and you can't roll them down unless you do it a certain way. Then the car started stalling at stop lights and when she would turn corners. Naturally she didn't tell me any of this until we switched back vehicles three days later. I return her truck in perfect condition. I get my car back with windows down in positions I can't get them out of and to it stalling all the time.

Now I am in no way blaming my friend for the stalling. The windows on the other hand, didn't really bother me too much. I know how to fix them. I just ran out of time and didn't have help to do so. Naturally it started to rain on my way to work. So I ran in to my job and grabbed some trash bags. Hoping to at the very least curb the rain from coming into the car. Which it did. I did get the joy of being so completely soaked that I could ring water out of my shirt and pants. Lovely.

By the way. I worked like that. Wet clothes, wet socks, wet shoes and raccoon eyes from my mascara running.

Honestly not sure where I was going with this story. LOL

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

A Life Less Ordinary

is not what my life could ever be described as, ever. I know that I would like to have a less eventfully life, then I realize exactly how dull it would actually be. But still, maybe a week without drama? Is that a request I could put in?

I have had a busy week, with work and the fact that I am trying to get a magazine up and running. Oh, did I mention that I am wanting to get another business off of the ground as well? Maybe I am an over achiever. Or maybe I just like to make my life crazy and yet still feel like I have accomplished nothing. I am approaching 40 and I just reached a point to where I just don't feel like I have done ANYTHING with my life. Therefore, I have been trying like mad to change my life around.

Only problem is, that as you get older, you can't stay awake all night long and bounce back to do it all over again in the morning. I am sure I could get some help from Red Bull or some other energy drink, if I could even contemplate putting them in my mouth. Not happening. I think they taste disgusting. So I get to run, or rather drag my ass around for about two weeks at a time, before I burn myself out and crash for 13 hours of sleep. Pretty sure my body is pissed off at me. Do I care? Possibly. Do I care enough to slow down? Nope. Do I feel like I am accomplishing anything? I wish. Rather feel like I am running in circles sometimes.

Only plus side is, I know that if I can make it work. I will have left a mark on the world. A mark my children can be proud of. A mark that maybe, just maybe, one day will be used as inspiration for others. Even if they never know my name.