Friday, April 27, 2007

Sisterly Stupidity

Drama again. Again not mine. But since the silly twerp is my sister, I am probably going to have to revert to my older days of being a ghetto bitch and kick some man's ass.

My sister met this man. He seemed great. Great job, very polite, good with the young ones in the family, basically all around good guy.

Boy did he have us fooled. He lied about what he did for a living, about being sent away on assignment, about everything. He left for a little over a month, he said for a class that would help him with a promotion. Lie, lie, lie.

He comes back and says to my sister, "Sorry, but I have been lying to you. I was with my ex and she is pregnant. We are going to have to break off our engagement. I am going to marry her."


So to top all of that off, now my sister thinks she is pregnant. I am in a you have got to be kidding me phase now. So she calls him and tells him about that possibility. All of a sudden he is more concerned with her and her well being again. And she is stupid enough to be talking to him seriously, and even thinking of forgiving him. Then she gets mad when I tell her she is stupid.

My sister works with me and she worked with me tonight. The Jerk, as I will from here on out refer to him, comes to pick her up and has the audacity to come inside and think I wouldn't say anything to him.

"Be nice when he comes in." States my sis.

"Yeah right. If he comes in here I will punch him in his lying ass mouth."

"Please don't. I love him."

"Oh good Lord. I love you, but damn you are being stupid. I won't punch him, this time. I am at work. I can't lose my job."

That satisfies her and she walks away to continue her work. I leave the podium as well to continue with mine. The hostesses are all watching for the boyfriend. They all want to see what I will do. They know me and my mouth. I am not one to keep my mouth shut when you hurt someone I care about. He arrives and I am in the back. These crazy hostesses search me out just to tell me he is here. I have to show them some love for that. I gather what I need from the back and make a detour to him. He sees me and gives me the "Oh, Shit!" look.

Here is what I did. I put my finger up to his face and move in close so guests can't hear me and say......

"Your fucking lucky that I am at work. What I want to say and do to you I won't do here. Fuck with my sister badly again and you have me to deal with."

I know it is not the most appropriate behaviour or polite thing to say, but I will be and always have been me. If you don't like it, sorry, don't read it.

Needless to say he tells my sister on me. She approaches me and says the Jerk said you said... yada yada.. blah blah.

"So? Here you can give him this message then, since he didn't like my other one." I proceed to speak in my smart ass voice, "Awe... tattle tale on me all you want. I don't care and I'll keep speaking to him like I want."

That didn't go over too well with my sister.

Oh well. If she doesn't like the drama, she shouldn't help me create it.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

From Lemonade to Lemons

Have you ever wondered about buying older cars? I have. Actually, older cars have been my primary transportation for years. They are more affordable, insurance is cheaper and if your ex-husband pisses you off, they won't come near your car. Owning an older model vehicle is a good things. Unless, you let you father buy it for you, and you accept it gracefully. Then you end up putting in two alternators, two batteries, two voltage regulators, a cylinoid (sp? even the spell checker didn't know) and a starter. And the damn thing still doesn't run properly.

My work is relatively close to home, as well as the store, so losing battery power hasn't been bothering me too greatly. I have been searching for a mechanic that,

1.) Knows what he is doing.
2.) Not going to rip me off.
3.) Doesn't refuse to work on older cars like Pep Boys, (BTW Pep Boys Suck!!!!)
4.) Will find out exactly what is wrong with the car the first time.

I have not had any such luck. Still the big tank was getting me back and forth from work. Now it isn't. Either someone put something in my gas tank, or the transmission is going. Either way, I am paying my dad back two grand for a Lemon. And here I thought I got lucky and had some lemonade.

I have no clue what to do now, believe me, I did most of the before mentioned work, I am not a dumb ass regarding cars. Just the electrical system and the transmission. Not to mention, lack of tools. I am relatively limited in what I can personally do for the car.

Alas, it boils down to this. No humans were giving me drama today, so the damn car had to have a say.

Friday, April 20, 2007

The Worst Internet Pick Up Lines and Fire Cracker Responses

I was goofing off online the other day. I was trying to meet my friends in a chat room and went into the wrong one. Ended up being messaged by several idiots. You know the ones I mean. The uncreative, just wanting to find someone to masturbate with kind. It got me thinking about all the times I was bored out of my mind and had no one to talk to and had decided it was about time someone made a list of all the cheesy opening pick up lines. I also felt that they deserved some great comeback lines for you to use as well.

1.) a/s/l?....Give me a break. Can't you type more then three letters? Or is creativity lost on you?

2.) Want to see my web cam?....Sorry I am not into cum stains. (I know crude)

3.) I like men and women. What do you prefer?......Intelligent conversation over keyboard masturbation.

4.) What size are your breasts?....Big enough to fit in my bra and important enough for you to keep wondering.

5.) Hi my name is Tiffany. I am so lonely. Want to have a hot chat?......I would rather poke my eyes out with a spoon.

6.) Do you watch porn? If so, want to watch me?......I would rather sleep with Michael Jackson.

That is all I could think of at the moment. I know some of them were graphic, but they are all actual messages I have received. I hope they made you laugh.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Sisters and Friends

Do you ever have people around you that sometimes just drive you completely crazy? I swear if they weren't important in my life I would toss them on their ears. Stupid crap upon even more stupid crap. Personally I go to work to make money and to avoid at home drama. But these crazy women can't even leave me alone there.

I am waiting on tables, thoroughly busy and basically getting my ass kicked. At a table my cell phone rings.

My friend and babysitter, "Hey woman. I need you to find someone else to babysit tonight. I want to go out."

I am thinking, thanks for the hours notice, but reply "Let me see what I can do."

I proceed to ask my sister if she would be willing and she says she will. I think, "Wow, easy drama for once." I should have known better. My sister and my friend are at odds with each other at the moment, because they thought tattling on me to my Dad was a good thing. HA, I am 35 years old tattletale away. I don't care. They did however lose a great deal of my trust. In the end it pitted them against each other and now I have to listen to stories of. .. Well Karla said this.... yeah well Brandy said that. I just don't give a shit.

I do now, they brought it in front of my son and to my work. I do not need phone calls, in the middle of running circles about, Karol won't let me use the phone and she hung up on my mom.

Apparently it wasn't enough for me to try and call them to settle the matter. NO, they almost get into a fistfight in front of my four year old. If they had, I would have kicked both of their asses and been left standing there saying, "Who's the biatch now?" There are just some things you don't do in front of children. Fighting to the point of violence is definitely one of them.

Crazy ass women is what I have to say. You get a roomful of men together and at the end of the night with some drinks in them, they are still fine and dandy. Not fighting about, "Well Cliff said I looked fat in my shirt. He is one to talk. Have you seen him in is jeans. I think he needs to lose some of that ass."

Men just don't do that, but get a roomful of women together. You don't even need alcohol and one of them will be pissed at two or more of them by the end of the night. Women are emotional creatures, since I am one, I get that. But they can also be the most conniving bitches. Rodney Kings statement, "Can't we all just get along?" will never apply to a group of women.

I played mediator and set them straight. Forbid them to even talk to each other and said if you fight like that in front of my son again, you don't want to know what I will do to you. And these are women in their twenties. Just goes to show you that it is not only men that don't grow up. They buy expensive toys, we start drama.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The Real Life Drama Queen Reigns

Welcome to the life and times of "The Real Life Drama Queen." No matter what I do, no matter who I talk to and no matter where I go, drama follows. I have even moved to a different state, where I didn't know anyone but my father, his wife and my sister whom I haven't seen in ten years. Drama followed. I wasn't even here a month and it rained down. Admittedly part of it was my fault. The rest was in trusting the wrong people to keep their mouth shut. Be careful of who you tell your secrets too. No matter how big or small. Including relatives.

I have learned in this day and age, you can trust hardly anyone. Everyone thrives on drama. Be it their own or others. Why else is Jerry Springer so popular. Where else can you find hillbillies and Ho's fighting over which relative should marry the cousin up on the auction block.

Think about it, if you have no drama in your life, you are either watching it on television, reading it in the paper or finding it online. You can't even walk down a busy sidewalk anymore and not come across someone talking trash on a cell phone. We are so in tune with drama that half of the time we don't even realize we are creating it.

Basically, it boils down to this. I have so much drama, none of it that I want, so I am going to write about it here. Share the wealth, as the saying goes. Even today on my day off, I went no where, I didn't even answer the phone. Drama came my way. The neighbor came over and borrowed my car. She doesn't care that it is not running correctly. She doesn't even put gas in it. She does however take it to WalMart and somehow manages to return empty handed and stand in my living room bitching about how she forgot her license. Another friend stops by, thinks she is pregnant. She is unmarried, been with her man for a few years and was having second thoughts about her relationship. Suddenly she is back to making things work, because the possibility of pregnancy. Scary to be sure. Drama! This was supposed to be my veg out day. The one day a week where I do nothing but goof off online and take care of my son. Instead I get to listen to others problems, offer solutions and have them rejected. If you don't want my advice don't ask for it. I mean I am only trying to help. No one listens. All I end up getting for my helpful efforts is more drama.

And that folks is why the Real Life Drama Queen Reigns.

I am sure there will be more tomorrow.

Welcoming Post

Just testing this out to see if i am officially up and running.